Drawings on paper and in space....

Some drawing pieces from a few years back ( when I had more space to work).

"Lucifer" graphite on paper.

"Pendulus Construction" graphite on paper.

"Morphology 1" graphite on paper.

"Drawing in Space: Ariel" wood, charcoal, paint.

"Drawing in Space: Embrace" wood, charcoal,paint.

"Drawing in Space: Master and Student", wood, charcoal, paint.

Ascension (for Lois J.)

"Ascension (for Lois J.)", acrylic on canvases, 48"h X102"w, 2014.

Studio view, coming together...

As I embark on bringing the figure back into my work, I couldn't help but place my earlier, copper sculpture, "Metamorphosis" into the mix...and I see there is a nice "dialogue". Recent events turned my perception of what I've been doing 180 degrees and I see things in a fresh perspective...in fact, that process of "cutting through what's known" is what it's all about for me. But, I can get complacent very easily ( usually motivated by fear and a desire to "have the answers") - I'm glad there are people (teachers, etc) who can wake me up again.

The process of art-making really is supernatural - there are things that happen during the process that I can't explain...and I like that. It brings surprise, vitality and magic into my life and I can only hope that my images offer the viewer that experience as well.

Surprise, surprise!

As it turns out, the "angel of light" wanted to become the "angel of darkness and shadow"! As I started the underpainting of my "angel of light" ( I usually begin by working very dark and layering light/color on top of that - similar to an old master technique) I stepped back and received "a shock"... it was not what I had anticipated - I saw, instead of an underpainting for my "angel of light" , another image altogether. I have been thinking about, ruminating on the Jungian concept of Anima ( an inner female component for men, Anumus, male - for women) and how to try and depict the various stages: Eve, Helen, Mary, Sophia. This creature - named Lilith for now - represented something altogether different: a dark negativity - Yes!!! We all carry, in varying degrees, this element of negativity within us. To see my particular manifestation of it was quite startling to say the least. So the orb of light becomes a leaden black ball of bile, dark matter. I continued on with the painting, honoring its new direction...and felt enormous inner relief when it became apparent I could go no further. Does this mean I'm purged for good from negativity? Ha ha! Don't think so - but there is a since that I'm "less identified" with it - that is - I've created a small wedge between "it" and who I am.

Andromeda

This is a small study "Andromeda"(18"X24") for a much larger piece (36"X48") - bringing the figure in - want to start by doing a triptich with three "celestial bodies" : Andromeda, Lyra and Cassiopia.
Developing a technique using major glazing, adding layer after layer, turning it into a "ghost of a painting."

Early, Raw, Uncooked...

Looking at a few earlier pieces today...talking very early...the painting below is from 25 years ago - not too long after the exhilarating stay in Rome, via RISD - where I got to do whatever I wanted - haha! Now, I still get to do what I want - but I gotta pay for it (in more ways than one!) Its nice to see some progress and to see a continuity in exploration at least. As a younger artist, art-making was all about ideas, but the older you get it just starts being about who you are....

Deus Ex Machina ( Total ) - with a very helpful explanation to boot....

I've never been particularly interested in painting pictures to hang on walls for decoration...its been more of a visual odyssey exploring the metaphysical universe of my subconscious and its relation/ my relation to the infinite ... and, like Icarus, I'm always compelled to reach beyond my limits and come crashing down... case in point: this latest image began with a very modest mind-set wherein I was going to paint what I called "A Fragment of a Mystery" - realizing maybe that's all we can hope for in this lifetime. I even painted it in a horizontal (sofa-sized) format, which I haven't used in a long time - thinking - I'm really, really going to keep it to a single image/canvas this time....
just exploring the emotions contained within abstract elements in metaphysical space - coming to life - so to speak....

I was content with it at first, but gradually my mind, as usual, began to "see" the image expanding outward in space. First, I created its reflection on the computer (as I am want to do - I find reflective imagery fascinating and an apt way of looking at manifested reality being a mere reflection of the unseen) . And, of course I began to see many "masks" staring at me, enticing me to go on...

And again, the image expanded in my mind, so I added another canvas to the top and painted away. After that, I added another to the bottom to reach my blasphemous "Godhead" - trembling, holding together just long enough to satisfy my insatiable need "to see it all", after which it falls apart - really more a masquerade, a distraction - and I fall to earth again.....back into Mystery.

What's interesting to me is I see how the boundaries of the canvas are very superficial to me - just a momentary enclosure for what's "moving around in the space of my imagination."
I'm obsessed with the expansion of space and form and light and the "higher emotions those evoke" - plain and simple ( as many painters are) - and the nice thing is this one image can be broken down into wonderful "decorations" to accent any living area - haha!

the top and middle sections (below) are a "stand-alone" pair that offer endless hours of viewing pleasure - kind of reminds me of a coral reef - but with abstract, painting elements coming to life standing in for the fish, etc!

Working....

No studio to work in at the moment - at least I have the living room... I'm crazy, restless for space right now - large paintings and sculpture wanting to be made...keep thinking about how Michaelangelo never got to finish the sculptures for the Pope's tomb the way he so desperately wanted to. The Pope had him painting away in the Sistine Chapel for years...even the greats didn't always have things go their way...sigh.

"Frankenstein's Daughter"

"Darkness"

Took a painting from last year and started adding dark layers of varnish to it...darker and darker til just  the barest trace of light left. I'm happy with it. One that really needs to be seen in person to be fully appreciated. Its like a signpost saying to me, "This way if you dare!" - time to get back to work...

New Piece!

"Act of Creation During a Moment of Melancholy"     acrylic on canvas, 32"X40".
( a description of some of the process involved in this piece follows below it:)

I began "Act of Creation During a Moment of Melancholy" with a completely different aim in mind: a bright, colorful, cheerful painting! It sat on the easel for some time in that state- cheerful and happy - and very shallow. It left me in a constant state of annoyance. Gradually, colors and light, of a very different nature began to fill my mind…until a moment came when I went back to work and created my dark, "melancholy" painting - at last, very happy and pleased with myself! But, as it turned out, I wasn't finished just yet…the bolt of life-creating energy (into all that lifeless abstraction) literally came out of nowhere, right in to my mind, like I had set the painting up for it to occur. This is the kind of thing I'm looking for - a sort of "search for the miraculous". The cosmological intertwines with the psychological, the macro invades the micro.

 Carl Jung's quintessential question, that he believed every human contained within themselves (whether they liked it or not) was : "What is Man's relation to the infinite?"  The art-making process is part of my search for answers to this question. 

  And it is said, "Always have a question". I have always had the question, "What doesn't change in Life? Everything is so transitory. This leads to questions about subjective states vs. objective states. Artists tend to dismiss the possibility of objectivity..Picasso's famous quote in regards to critiquing art:  "..its like picking the wings off butterflys." Artists get very defensive about being able to create "freely" - that any kind of objectivity would kill their imagination. 

   I'm not so sure. What I've found is a way to perhaps work with one state, the subjective, with the aim of allowing the objective in, as well...I like to start my paintings the way an abstract expressionist would - with no clear image in mind - only the blank canvas before me. I began this process years ago, so It takes a lot to "start fresh" each time. What has happened , over the years, is a sort of visual vocabulary has developed "of its own accord". The different organic shapes, etc that fill "my void" clearly connect to different experiences and different art influences I've had during my own subjective lifetime. These free associations fill up my "inner universe"- so to speak. Everybody is a doorway between the inner and outer universes. I like to think of my work as "abstraction come to life" within a metaphysical space.

  When I look out at the vast night sky I see an empty, dark, cold expanse of space both awe-inspiring and frightening at the same time. How fortunate I am, then, to be able to fill-up my own "inner universe" with comforting shapes and colors! Years back I was so curious about what the planets actually looked like, I invested in a very powerful telescope. My first view of Saturn literally knocked me off my feet. I began to see all sorts of amazing things: nebulae, star clusters, galaxies and color! The first time I saw a Red Giant star orbited by a Blue Dwarf star I was stunned by the sheer brilliance of the color.

 The older I get, it seems as if this thin veil between the two worlds, outer and inner, are constantly overlapping. My fascination with the night sky and expanses of space now permeates the inner world I paint on canvas. Events and circumstances seem to play off each other in ways I'm not even aware of most of the time. Its a cliche at this point in modern talk, but while I'm actually painting, I try to practice, as much as I can , being in the "Now" - dividing my attention between what's going on in my mind and on the canvas and what's happening in my body: my posture, my breathing, the sensations in various parts of my body. In this way, I believe, I can at least bring a little objectivity into play with my subjective states. The aim here, isn't to be less melancholy! More, its to be present to it - allowing it to be - when the inner position is:  "OK paint - I'll watch."

Dreamer

Zombie Regret

I was exposed to my first zombie movie, "Night of the Living Dead", when I was just seven. Needless to say, it had a very powerful impact on me. I had to develop "inner-strategies" for years to battle the negativity and fears I had inside as a result...These days, zombies are part of culture - with zombie parties and parades now the norm. But, I think there's clearly something more than mindless "zombie-fun" going on here...

I'm a believer in the Jungian concept of a "collective unconscious", wherein subconscious messages and symbols present themselves through art and other mediums. Zombies, represent, in my view, a "call to awaken" from the collective unconscious. In this day and age, when religion has lost its  ability to "fill the void", so to speak in many people's lives, there is a sense of people "adrift". Not sure what to cling to for meaning in their lives, and simultaneously bombarded with popular entertainment as a panacea, people are left to find meaning where they can find it: in materialism, New Age fantasies, etc. It is said that the sexual impulse is the most "mechanical force" in the universe. Its pleasures hide the grip it has on persons and society. The celebrity culture would love to say its all about passion and freedom, but when one looks at it objectively, one sees it is the result of a strong , unconscious force having its way with sleeping people, content in their dreamland. Most people would recoil in horror and resentment were one to suggest that they are indeed the "walking dead" ( or, at least, the walking asleep).

Many take to causes: stop the current war, save the environment, stop prejudice, etc - certainly all noble causes in one sense or another. And many will tell you that there is indeed progress being made. But, I'm not so sure. To me, these all seem like temporary "noble causes" that distract from the real work to be done, that is: waking up.
There is a principle.."one's being attracts one's world". That applies to individuals as well as collective bodies. As long as Mankind continues to be fractured , and "in pieces", there will be more of the same.
What do I mean by being "in pieces"? An example: recently, there was posted online some statements by an artist which were quite confrontational and shocking. What was horrifying to me, though, was to see the viciousness and vile comments in response, coming from people whom, until that point,  I had considered rational and sound. All it took was some "vile words" to bring out a corresponding vileness in otherwise gentle persons. This was a fairly innocuous event, but underlined the fact that we are indeed, merely reactive, subjective beings who are not really "free" inside in any real sense of the word. We are all pawns to the forces that shape us. It has been shown that Rwanda and other genocides would not be possible were it not for the fact that normally friendly, gentle, God-fearing people also have the potential to become angry, blood-thirsty killers when the right buttons are pushed. We in the USA think we're above such behavior, when in fact, its only our present state of material comfort that keeps us in check.

 When I was battling my inner "zombie demons" as a boy I played out a scenario in my mind: me as the zombie, running along mindlessly, doing what zombies do; eating people, running, eating some more, etc. The only thing that could break the spell was a growing sense of remorse. I think "remorse of conscious" is an inner force created to assist in spiritual awakening. Its a particular type of remorse:
the realization that I am not actually living. I am merely asleep, living in a dream. Its said, that when a person receives this type of shock there is a possibility "to awaken" because that person may then be willing to begin the real work of what it takes to awaken and be a free human being in the truest sense of the word.

Below: a rather amusing piece I did entitled, "Zombie Regret":

World of Worlds

Think outside the box, think outside your world....a painting from a few years back - dealing with the idea that one can become quite "contained" within the concept of what constitutes "the world" for oneself. When, in fact, we human beings have been given the potential
(and perhaps our obligation to our own evolution) to expand beyond the scope and consciousness of just a single understanding of what constitutes "our world". I'm not referring to the countless inhabited planets in our known universe ( that only makes sense and is fairly obvious) - but more to a connection with a greater inner consciousness that permeates that universe, and other dimensions beyond our (at present) limited imagination.
 I understand that these sorts of ideas will have no resonance for many ( those content to 'chew on their patch of grass' before its they're time to die, or those caught up and rationalizing how important the affairs of men are).  There are others who feel an insistent "call" to grow in the kind of understanding I'm talking about... its you I humbly make my pictures for. Perhaps I come across as arrogant when I say I'm of those sort who say... "I have complete pessimism in the multitude, and complete optimism in the individual" - so be it.

Heated Exchange

Ultimately, to enjoy any kind of true inner freedom, I'm of the understanding that one needs to detach what one identifies as "myself" to the "small-self" emotions that rise up. I react to outside events
( a check in the mail!) or inner conditions ( such as fear of not getting what I want), and a corresponding "self" emotion takes hold : I am happy, I am sad, I am bored...etc.
How does one find a place in oneself in which to observe and accept (without needing to change) these various, ever-changing smaller emotions as they come and go? And, if one is able to do so, can one then allow larger, deeper emotions - unnameable emotions to enter?

Kooky KiDs StuFF

I get crazy serious sometimes and just crazy silly other times...its like the tides, or something. Here's a little piece from a few years back. The idea was to do an alphabet with funny monsters - this guy's name is Billy and everything in the pic starts with a B... (as if you couldn't tell). And the image below Billy is Charles collecting canaries. It was fun tweaking them with the computer a bit..would make nice kids' tees *(me-thinks).

Transcending the Medium

There's always this talk about whether illustrators are artists or not, which doesn't make any sense to my way of thinking. The word "artist" is bandied about so much it doesn't even mean anything at this point. I save the word "artist" for someone whom I believe has an extraordinary vision , combined with a certain facility with their chosen medium which enables them to "transcend the medium" so to speak, and create an experience for the viewer which is unique, and at the same time touches something universal, objective. There are many movie directors, but only one Bergman - many painters, but only one Rembrandt. Perhaps, this comes across as an elitist view in this day and age of "everyone's an artist" - but, for myself, I am grateful for those rare individuals who create a truly unique work "of Art" (the nature of what is Art, itself, is another topic for discussion). In some instances, it may only be a single piece out of an entire career that transcends everything before and after it (were one to be so fortunate).
I first saw the work of the illustrator, John Berkey, when I was just a kid, back in the sixties. His paintings of spaceships blew me away...the images were alive with a powerful energy... his uncanny ability to render insanely detailed objects with an abstract expressionist flair was mesmerizing. His facility with paint and brush enabled him to capture his extraordinary vision. There's an almost dream-like quality to his seemingly impossible vessels. Though, perhaps, designed with warfare in mind, some of the ships seem to vibrate with an inner dimension of peace and benevolence (something, hopefully to be encountered in the vast reaches of space, with more evolved beings, beyond the madness of the state of our own planet). His images still have the same impact on me today. Transcending his medium, he's an illustrator I see as a true artist.

Art Transformation

As we know,  the ancient alchemical precept that "courser elements can be transformed into finer ones" through "certain processes and catalysts" was a "material veil" pertaining to the inner transformation of Being. The creative process, inherently connected to transformation, speaks to this inner potential in human beings.

Figure Drawing and Spiritual Connection

I should begin by saying that, what in general, is referred-to as Spiritual, I choose to call Reality, and that it is this disconnect from Reality that causes so much anxiety and tension in me... there is a Hindu principle: "God is the only reality". I'm not a practicing Hindu, but I believe there is truth in this belief.

For me, the process of making Art has always been, not so much about making pictures, as exploring and searching for a connection with a greater Reality. In my explorations, I've discovered that the connection needs to happen in "all parts of me" - that is: mind, body and emotion. Figure drawing has become a terrific "field of exploration" for this search for connection. 

As an art student, confronted with a nude human figure for the first time, and asked to relate to it in some way I, at first, stumbled blindly. Then something happened...my frustration pushed me to break out of my confining thoughts. An immense wave of emotion seemed to burst through the thoughts as I picked up a brush of ink, then charcoal, then pencil and let them guide me intuitively. I realized that for something meaningful to happen on this paper in front of me I needed to not only relate to the human presence before me , but also to the outer, physical space we both occupied, as well as the "inner space" within me. An emotional connection was the key.

So, the breakthrough for me occurred when I discovered that the connections spatially and conceptually could not be achieved via the intellect alone. I needed to allow what I now call my "emotional center" to take charge. This involved a certain sacrifice on my part - giving up a certain amount of intellectual control. I also realized the "prescribed method" of sitting or standing passively at an easel was not going to work for me. I dropped my paper, ink and charcoals, etc to the floor, and worked from there -  as a result, my whole body became involved with the process.

Now, of course, if one wishes to learn about anatomy and connections, etc. traditional figure drawing is invaluable for such training of the eye and hand. Certain, more academic approaches, are perfectly acceptable. I've done quite a bit of that, as well. Unfortunately, without an emotional connection though, most of the drawings I've seen done in this manner come across as rather lifeless and stilted.

In some circles, its said that in order for a human being to continue to develop in Being, there must be an awakening of the "emotional center" within the body. That, in fact, we spend 99.9% of our lives up in our heads - which is a terrible tragedy due to the fact that thoughts are ephemeral, empty things with no real substance or life at all. But, my "inner attention" habitually seeks shelter and comfort in obsessive thinking.

Fortunately, as it turns out, I find I have a choice in the matter. My inner attention is not something I'm necessarily a slave to. In fact... its a gift. It presents the possibility of a true connection with the greater Reality that parts of myself so eagerly wish for.

The "work" involved with moving my inner attention out of my head and into my body and emotions is not easy. In fact, its the hardest job I've ever had. I've been fortunate to have had very good teachers in the process so far. And certain groups I've been part of have helped enormously. I don't believe its a work one can or should attempt alone... more on that another time. 

The process/journey continues. The figure drawing below is over thirty years old, but feels as alive to me today as the moment I made it. Perhaps,  it may look chaotic, random to some eyes. To me, it represents the beginning of a journey towards awakening.... that journey continues to this day.

"In any way that men love me - in that same way they find my love : for many are the paths of men, but they all in the end come to me." - the Bhagavad Gita

Another figure drawing scene. Focusing, not so much on the figure, as the entire scene - not letting anything take precedence over the other as I take it in and record, keeping a constant connection, using an "active attention" both inner and outer...

More computer "tweaking" - these are a couple of sketches for a reef story:

Getting Started...

Going to use this forum as a window into my studio process. Share what's currently going on....
At the moment, I'm experimenting with tweaking some earlier drawings with the computer. What's fascinating to me is the computer is bringing in a certain randomness which really excites me! I'm always trying to walk a line between clear intention and being open to chance. Ironic that this machine provides me an opportunity to "let go" and allow "something else" in - the defaults of the computer add to the process for me, rather than diminish it. It provides a certain "objectivity" - allowing me to also be in the role of "witness' - which is really quite refreshing.