Surprise, surprise!

As it turns out, the "angel of light" wanted to become the "angel of darkness and shadow"! As I started the underpainting of my "angel of light" ( I usually begin by working very dark and layering light/color on top of that - similar to an old master technique) I stepped back and received "a shock"... it was not what I had anticipated - I saw, instead of an underpainting for my "angel of light" , another image altogether. I have been thinking about, ruminating on the Jungian concept of Anima ( an inner female component for men, Anumus, male - for women) and how to try and depict the various stages: Eve, Helen, Mary, Sophia. This creature - named Lilith for now - represented something altogether different: a dark negativity - Yes!!! We all carry, in varying degrees, this element of negativity within us. To see my particular manifestation of it was quite startling to say the least. So the orb of light becomes a leaden black ball of bile, dark matter. I continued on with the painting, honoring its new direction...and felt enormous inner relief when it became apparent I could go no further. Does this mean I'm purged for good from negativity? Ha ha! Don't think so - but there is a since that I'm "less identified" with it - that is - I've created a small wedge between "it" and who I am.